If only I had known...

Aptaclub have launched a new preparing for birth app and it offers help to mums-to-be and mums. The app is designed to help mums stay organised through check lists, advice and tips. It also has a birth announcer, which is oh so very modern! They are running a fabulous competition with littlestuff.co.uk.

I thought I would enter as after having 3 children I think this app is great and would have been so useful.

I was a young parent, it was a complete shock of my life when I found out. I was eight weeks gone already. I hadn't even noticed I'd missed a period or two because I was too busy planning my 18th birthday party. My last party where it would be all about me! 

My boobs hurt, that's the only symptom I had and all I could think was (or hope that) they were growing! After a few days when they were still hurting I realised I couldn't actually remember the last time I had a period. I mentioned it to by boyfriend of 8 months. 'Your on the pill' he reassured. I wanted to do a test anyway. Shit... I was pregnant. Aged 17.

If only I had known this wouldn't have been the most joyful, happiest time finding out I was pregnant. If only I had known I would be sick, not morning sickness but all day sickness for a long 16 weeks. Dry heaving what the hell was that?! I never wanted to be sick so much so the feeling would go away.

How would I break the news to my parents? My sister? My little 12 year old brother? Luckily (after it had sunk in they were all excited and happy).

My boobs grew and grew and grew. As did everywhere else as a matter of fact. I didn't even consider the thought of stretchmarks until 36 weeks that first one appeared and slowly turned into a mingled mass of them covering the whole of my belly. They were sore, they itched they burned. My body changed so much.

If only I'd known my friends wouldn't be interested, they would carry on living there teenage life, partying, drinking, dancing the night away. If only I had known my path in live would change completely, my out look on life would be dramatically different.

If only I had known the pain of labour, the contractions and what to expect. The positions I would have to get in, the number of people that would see me half naked. The procedures the midwives carry out.

I felt so confused during my first pregnancy about loads of different things being so young and feeling so young. I knew I wasn't really ready for this, but who is? I was embarrassed to ask midwives or anyone questions because I thought they would just think I was young and silly. The last few weeks of pregnancy I found it really hard to sleep and I would be up checking my hospital bag, taking a look in the babies room making sure everything was in place. Wondering if I was doing the right thing. I had a million questions to ask, but I was so worried people would judge.

If only I had known the overwhelming love I would feel when I held that baby in my arms for the first time and the second and the third. Would any of this matter? I think not! But it would have been great to know or have some idea.

If I ever got pregnant with a 4th child, I would definately download this app. All 3 of my pregnancies have been different it would be so convenient for a Mum on the go who usually remembers all the questions I need to ask when the children are tucked up in bed.

This post is Vicky's entry into the Aptaclubs 'If Only I'd known...' competiton.